Doctor Who Adventures, Issue 181: MONSTER LAUGHS - These jokes are just what the Doctor ordered!

Why did the Silurian try to swallow a jumper?
He had COLD BLOOD!

How do Slitheen celebrate getting a year older?
They have a birthday FARTY!

Why does the Doctor never look scared?
He always likes to put on a brave FEZ!

Which Doctor Who episode is most popular during Wimbledon?
The Vampires of TENNIS!

Which of the Doctor's friends is useful on a rainy day?
Tony MACK!

What do you get if you cross Amy and an Ood?
Amy FROND!

Which painter suffered from sore throats?
Vincent Van COUGH!

Why were Amy and the Doctor sad to leave Starship UK?
Because they had a WHALE of a time!

What is Francesco's favourite dance?
The FANG-dango!

Football: Germany 4 - 1 England, World Cup 2010

For Sale: Genuine World Cup football boots. No scuff marks, good as new. Contact Wayne Rooney.

Dear England, karma is such a bitch. Kindest regards, Uwe Seeler, captain, West Germany 1966.

NEWS FLASH - English FA reported to FIFA for letting 11 useless w**kers enter the World Cup.

What's the difference between England and a teabag? A teabag stays in the cup longer.